A very common problem of today is the imbalance of trust. You could probably think of someone you know that is suspicious of everyone, does not trust easily, and always looks for the bad. You could probably also think of someone that is the opposite; someone that trusts anyone without much question and is an “open book” for anyone that wants to read. Neither one of these extremes is healthy. How many of life’s problems could be avoided simply by putting a proper faith in other humans?

We need to strive for our trust level to be in the grey, as is illustrated in the picture above, meaning that there needs to be a balance. How do we learn how to trust properly and establish healthy boundaries in our relationships? We look to the example of God and what he’s revealed to us through His word.

Most people are familiar with the account of Jesus’ betrayal and crucifixion. We see that he had to suffer through extreme pain, dying for undeserving sinners, and we realize the level of love and compassion he had on the world when he said “Father, forgive them...” (Luke 23:34).  But something else can also be observed from the story: our Savior gave us an example of putting proper trust in humans.

Let’s take a brief look at some of the events surrounding the end of Jesus’ life: 

• Peter (and the rest of the apostles) said he would not deny the Lord (Matthew 26:33-35).
• Judas betrayed Jesus (Matthew 26:47).
  
• All the disciples left Jesus, in His time of need (Matthew 26:56)
  
• Peter denied Jesus (Matthew 26:69-75)

Wow. First, Jesus’ closest friends say they’ll never deny Him, then they betray him and leave him alone as he goes through the extreme torture that led to His death. Talk about heartache! I can’t imagine how painful it must have been for Jesus to be left by His friends right before His crucifixion. 

Of course, Jesus knew all of this would happen. But, knowing all that He knew, Jesus still did not let it destroy His purpose or change the way He lived His life. Jesus still spent time teaching these men. He washed their feet! Not one of the apostles could tell Judas would be the one to turn Jesus in (Luke 22:23)....because Jesus did not treat him any differently than the others. Jesus was still Himself and could live His life, knowing his friends would betray Him. None of what was to come caused Jesus to change the way he interacted with them or keep Him from fulfilling His purpose. He kept His focus!

Jesus placed a proper trust in humans. All people can let us down. All of us have the ability to change our minds. While it will hurt when others do wrong to us, having this proper faith in humans in the first place will keep those events from destroying us. Our goal should be to want relationships with people, have faith in people and believe the best in them, but not be completely broken when they mess up, or even purposely wrong us, because we understand that they are imperfect humans and do not deserve our complete faith and reliance. We need to be able to go on just fine without those relationships. The only one that deserves our complete trust is God and He is the only one that we can fully rely on and know by whom we will not be let down. It’s comforting to know that God will not change His mind and He will not disappoint us! It’s appropriate then, and necessary, to give your whole heart to God, and keep humans at a reasonable distance. I’ve heard it explained this way: “Keep people at arm’s length. A few can come to the elbow, but the only one you can let come all the way to your heart is God.”

So back to the original question: How do we obtain a healthy balance of trust in our relationships?

1. Look to God’s word and the example He sets for us by the nature of His being.
   
2. Realize all humans have the ability to change their minds, hurt people, and make mistakes, but do not let that expectation change the way you treat others. Always be kind.
   
3. Realize God is the only one that we can fully put our faith in! Keep your “inner circle” small.  Most people cannot properly handle having such an important position in your life.
   
4. Keep a higher focus. Strive to be dependent on God, and to be independent of other people. Your goal still needs to be Heaven, no matter what anyone else does. Keep your focus on the goal.
   
5. Stay connected to other people; even the ones that are not in your inner circle or are a challenge to your confidence.
   
6. Don’t be suspicious of people; just be cautiously wise. Don’t expect anyone in your life to be perfect, but give the benefit of the doubt.
   
7. Remember that there are good and godly people in the church that do love you.
8. A vital part of balancing trust with others is knowing YOUR tendencies and vulnerabilities. Be aware of those things about yourself and evaluate them in your relationships.

As long as we place proper faith in humans, we cannot be destroyed by anyone, even when they try! Only God deserves your heart...give it to Him. He’ll never disappoint you.

I am the first to admit that I feel this from time to time. It's Sunday morning and it's time to get up, take a shower, get dressed in "nice" clothes and attend the worship service of the local church of Christ and I just don't feel like it. Maybe it is because a lack of spirituality in my life at that time, maybe it is because I am dealing with some inward conflict or it might be because I know that I am likely to be convicted by something that God has said or the attitudes and examples of my fellow brethren. Whatever the cause, the statement that comes out is, "I just don't get much out of worship." 

I wonder if you've been in the same boat at times? You don't have to answer that because I know that you have! We all have. We might not have said it out loud, we might not EVER admit it but we have all felt this at times. But I don't think that statement is in and of itself a bad thing because it shows a longing in one's heart to "get something out" of the worship service (cf. Psalm 63:1-5). 

He wants to worship correctly (i.e. in spirit and in Truth - John 4:24) but feels as though he is not able to because something is holding him back. He wants to feel as though he is fulfilling his earthly duty (Ecclesiastes 13:12) but something, whether that be his heart or physical stresses, is standing in his way. 

However, that feeling fails to realize a few points. 

Have you ever wanted the results of working out without the actual effort? It's the same concept. Worship (namely: prayer, singing, taking the Lord's Supper, giving and study) takes effort on our part (Philippians 4:6, Colossians 3:16, 1 Corinthians 11:26, 2 Corinthians 9:2, Galatians 1:6-10) and that effort will result in the satisfaction that we are seeking when we say something like "I just don't get much out of worship." 

A person that is active in ministry and worship will not only be productive for Christ, but he will reap the earthly benefits of such. 

The Hebrews writer made it very clear that gathering for worship with the correct intent and end in mind results in the church's being edified (Hebrews 10:24-25). Paul stated that worship results in a better me (Philippians 4:6-7). And it even produces a stronger family (Ephesians 6:4) - A family that worships together, stays together! 

Now, which of those results is a detriment to the future? The answer is absolutely none. Not because just going to worship and punching a time card, if you will, has any lasting effects, but because the active worship of an individual produces actual blessings in his life! 

Remember, it isn't necessarily wrong to think "I don't get much out of worship" but it is wrong to think that that feeling negates the necessity of our putting our all into worship. When we realize these things, we will be able to see that we get out of worship only when we put into worship. 

Every one of us has something that we are to do for God. Whether it is utilizing our natural abilities for preaching or some other official ministry of the church or simply our responsibility to preach the Gospel to every person, we are all "called," if you will, to do something for Him. 

But, whenever we are faced with one of these challenges I believe there are a few things that God wants us to do and all of those things can be seen, either in a positive or a negative light, through the account of the 12 Spies.

The story starts out with God telling the people they are to go into the Land of Canaan to assess it and bring back report to Moses. Moses then gives them the parameters of their intelligence operation, telling them he wants them to take account of the cities' strength, the people's military power and even the status of the land's agriculture. 

The spies spend 40 days doing exactly that and then they return with their report. And I must say, I believe they are dead on up until this point! Whenever we are faced with a task that God has given us, we need to truly understand what we are doing so we can go forward in the correct manner! (cf. Luke 9:62, Luke 14:28, Luke 14:31)

However, that seems to be the end of the faithful addressing of the challenge set before them. With the report of the 10 spies, the children of Israel were turned against God and did something contrary to what we ought to do. Namely, they did not decide on faithfulness. 

When faced with a challenge, especially on a congregational level, we as God's people ought to make the decision that no matter how difficult, no matter what we have learned about the size of the undertaking, we are going to stay faithful to God...No...Matter...What!

Fast forward to the end of the incident and the nation of Israel has been given their sentence. They will not be allowed to enter into Canaan with the generation that sent the spies. Thankfully, and in somewhat of a sarcastic manner, God has promised that their children will be able to enter, but the adults will not. And instead of addressing those shortcomings appropriately (namely, learning from their mistakes and applying that knowledge to the future) the Israelites decide that they will NOW try to do something about it. But God has already removed His hand from them and they are turned around and ran away by the very people that God had told them He would give to them. 

Why? Because they did not do their duty when it was the correct time!

Now, what does all of this have to do with us? As I stated before, we are all charged with doing something for Christ and His Kingdom. That may very well be using our natural talents to preach or lead in some official sense but no matter what, we are all charged with spreading the borders of that Kingdom (Mark 16:15-16)! 

Have you looked and counted the costs for that? It will take more effort than many of us realize!

Have you decided to stand up for God and not waver in your faithfulness?

Have you learned from your past mistakes and failures in carrying out that mission so next time you are faced with the ability to teach the Gospel you will be better equipped? 

Remember, if we fail to stand up to the challenges that God gives us, He has every right to disinherit us like He did those Israelites so long ago (Numbers 14:11-12)! 

There are many ministries that are near and dear to my heart in addition to the PFP. One of which, and probably the most important outside of my worship to God and faithfulness to His Word is that of foster-care. My wife, Rebeka, and I have been working with the Georgia Department of Family and Children Services now for about two years from the time we first began our journey into foster-care until now and because of our involvement we have learned a lot about ourselves, our fellow man and our Lord. 

I wanted to take just a moment and encourage all of our readers to at least consider becoming Foster Parents for 4 main reasons. Here they are...

In what is probably the biggest motivation to ALL Christians in opening their homes to foster young children, James made it clear that Christians take an active roll in helping those who are in need. There are currently about 500,000 children in "the system" in the US with only about a tenth of that number foster parents (50,000). Friends, there is a tremendous need for these children to have loving, protective homes and as Christians it is our responsibility to step to the plate if we are able. 

How many times are children mentioned in the New Testament alone? (The word is used over in over 200 verses) Christianity has a very special place for children because God wants us to become as babies (Matthew 18:3), take care of children (James 1:27) and even protect our children with our lives (cf. 1 Timothy 5:8). However you look at it, children are important to God, and therefore they ought to be important to us. 

When we began our journey into foster-care I had a faint idea of this fact but it wasn't until we "got our feet wet" that I truly saw the influence one Christian family can have on the lives of those who are lost. By becoming foster parents we've been able to host IMPACT (foster-parent training) at church buildings owned by the church, met forever friends and been able to let them see what the church really is without the sigma and presumptions so many have today, affect the lives of our children's biological parents by mentoring and counseling them through their trials and temptations and much, much more! Remember, evangelism isn't just sitting down across the table with an open Bible and teaching a person some Biblical principle or the history of Christ's church, it is also living as a beacon of light in this horribly dark world!

Nothing has been more enriching to my faith than this experience! Yes, we've been put face to face with some very difficult situations and my blood boils at the thought of what some children have had to endure, but I've also learned of the love of God and the ability for people to change. I've met children who have been through more trauma than any person should have to be subjected to or even read about but I've seen how, with God's grace, we can overcome our pasts to live productive lives. I've seen people working together to help those in need. And while I will be the first to admit that "the system" is broken in places, I've seen how it can, with effort from those who truly care, make a difference. 

I'm not one to sugar coat this issue. Many of you are not cut out to be foster-parents, I know that. It takes a specific type of person to make it through with your hairline intact. But let me encourage everyone who reads this to do your research, contemplate what it will take, count the costs and at least consider becoming a foster-parent for your local state-run foster care department. It will change your life and it will change the lives of others!

When Paul and Barnabas had returned from Jerusalem to Antioch, before they could seemingly take a rest (isn't it great that some times God's Will keeps us going from work to work but will always give us ample opportunity to rest when we need it?), God had spoken yet again and sent the brothers on yet another mission. 

But, this mission would be different from the previous. Instead of a journey primarily pointed at encouraging Christians (Acts 11:22-23), this mission would be for the express purpose of gathering people to Jesus Christ (Acts 13:1-3). 

I want to focus on one of the words that the Lord decided to use in His calling Barnabas and Paul. - "Separate" (Acts 13:2)

While the word literally means exactly what you might be thinking, to "set off by boundary" (Strongs') or to "appoint, set apart for some purpose" (Thayer's). I believe it gives us a picture into something very needed in today's world. 

You see, Paul's purpose in being an apostle was actually given by Jesus Christ. Namely, to preach the Gospel to the Gentiles (Acts 22:21). 

I'm reminded of a time in small town Alabama when a woman down the street needed some weeds pulled from her front yard and she decided to hire the little boy from down the road to do the work for a minimal fee and give him something to do instead of playing Ding-Dong-Ditch on all of the neighbors. She set him to work and went inside, but only after saying, "I'm trusting you to get this done before lunch. If you do, I'll give you $5!". 

A few hours later, the weeds were pulled and the boy had some pocket change. The woman was somewhat taken aback that this young man had actually completed the task given to him without wavering and being distracted. As if promising a boy no older than twelve that he would have enough money to buy candy wouldn't cause him to work as fast as humanly possible. 

That woman could depend on that boy from then on and would hire him for small jobs around her house until he would graduate high school. Basically because she knew the work would get done in the way she set forth. 

When the Lord told the Antioch Church of Christ to separate Paul and Barnabas it was because He knew they would get the work done in the way He wanted it done, and the Christians agreed (seen by their "laying hands on them" in a sign of approval and trust - Acts 13:3). 

Here's the question that we need to internalize, can God depend on me like He could Paul? 

Am I trustworthy enough for God Almighty to be able to give me a job and know that it will be completed to the best of my ability? 

The simple fact is, He has given us a job to do and He fully expects us to finish the job!

That job is much more important than a little light gardening, so shouldn't we take it as such?

When I was a young boy, I was not the most athletically gifted boy in gym class. Sure, I was taller than most of the other kids, and I was reasonably strong compared to the smaller kids, but I was bigger and slower than most of the other boys. I can tell you from experience that it does not feel good to be the last one picked to play basketball or some other game with the other kids. I fear that this approach is made sometimes in the church. Among preachers, we have a habit of gravitating toward some members and forgetting or ignoring (even inadvertently) some other members in the congregation. It is very easy for us preachers to assimilate and become friends with fellow preachers and members who are close in age and interest, but that does not excuse anyone to mistreat other members at any time.

When we take a look into our congregations, we might be surprised to see the preacher or some of the members doing all of the work and some of them doing nearly none of the work. And since we are preachers and our thinking can be somewhat narrow in scope, we immediately, like second nature assume that the member who is not taking part in the work is lazy, doesn’t love Jesus or the church and is therefore subject to looking at the underside of our noses as we look down on them. Brethren, these things are not always the case. I have seen firsthand the mistreatment that members have undergone when they do not fit into a clique containing the preacher, or some of the members.

It may seem odd, but members actually want to take part in the work of the church, but sometimes they lack real opportunity to do so. The preacher, elders or members will call upon one of their “approved” members for a task without considering someone else that may benefit from lending a hand to the work. We will mask this mistreatment under the guise of “Well, brother so-and-so excels in this area,” but little opportunity for another member to show expertise or lack thereof is never given.

Unfortunately, it has become the case in many of our congregations that we are treating the carrying out of the work of the church as if we are drafting our fantasy football teams! We will pick that fellow because he’s a good quarterback, and we pick that fellow because he is fast and will score a lot of touchdowns, but this line of thinking cannot be present in the church. Since we are all “living stones... being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 2:5) -- we are better than what we are showing we are.

You can’t pick your brethren. You are going to have members where you are preaching that disagree with everything you say, even if it is Book, Chapter, Verse. You are going to have members with little to no confidence and will to be encouraged and equipped. You are going to have members who will be stubborn and will need to learn that they actually need and want to serve the Lord but just don’t know it yet.

A preachers job is never easy, inspiring the uninspired, encouraging the downtrodden, speaking the Truth in love and rallying behind his brethren to accomplish the work. The Christian life indeed is the most fulfilling life to be had, and when we are all service and working and doing our best to seek and save the lost, we will see that everyone has a hand in this work; everyone has part which they are uniquely qualified to fill. “We, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another” (Romans 12:5). Our differences are not causes for cliques and mistreatment, but on the contrary, our differences are cause for thankfulness – God has made us a multi-colored, multi-faceted machine able to accomplish our goal from every angle. To God be the glory!

The World's population is estimated to be over 7 Billion  with some predictions reaching as high as 11 Billion by 2050. Because of medical advancements, increased quality of foods and humanitarian efforts around the world, we are able to have healthier children, fight off infections and diseases that would once wipe out much of the population and generally live longer. And while all of that is great, the average lifespan of a human being is only about 67 years (cf. Psalm 90:10). 

That means that, on average, we only have about 70 years in this life to fulfill our purpose - to love, respect and obey the Almighty (Ecclesiastes 12:13). And I think it's high time that we take full advantage of that fact. 

We want to know that our lives mean more than working our fingers to the bones, getting a paycheck and barely scraping by. We want to know that the lives of those who have gone on meant something. We want to escape the ridiculous concept that we're here simply because some chance forces worked over billions of years and therefore we're here for absolutely no reason, even though many of us don't want to admit it. 

If it is our entire responsibility to obey God and respect Him as our Creator, Sustainer and Protector, and it is (cf. Ecclesiastes 12:13), then it's very simple to say that a person who is failing to do so is...

...missing their purpose in life. 

But, God, the one who made us and therefore has the prerogative to tell us the point of our existence, has already made it perfectly clear that the only life worth living is the Christian life (John 10:10). Therefore, without Him your life is completely wasted!

Cooperation is a wonderful thing among congregations of the Lord. Opportunities for mutual growth and support within the body of Christ brings us nearer to the ideal church of the New Testament and brings a certain encouragement to members of the church. But, as is the case with many things in this world, the devil tries to rear his ugly head, even in scenarios involving God’s people. One thing that occurs within many areas of local congregations in close proximity is the accusation and facilitation of what is commonly called “sheepstealing.”

What is “sheepstealing” you might ask? It is when one congregation in an entirely superficial effort to bring more attendance (thereby, contributions, influence, etc.) will attempt to steal away members from one faithful congregation to theirs. This is an undermining of the local community and is an action of pride.

So why would a topic like this be under the banner of “iSharpen @ PFP?” Because the aim of this article is to encourage as is the aim of every iSharpen article. We seek to exemplify Proverbs 27:17 – “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” And one way that we can encourage members of the church of Christ and preachers in their local congregations is to warn them of the dangers and appeal to steal away members from sister congregations. It is much easier to steal away a member from a neighboring congregation than it is to evangelize and convert a new member. Instead of dismantling or gimping sister congregations, we ought to bolster them, rally behind them and support them in their endeavors. That is what keeping the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Eph 4:3) is all about!

In the local congregation, whose sheep are the members? Are they the elder’s sheep? Are they the preacher’s sheep? Are they “church of chister” sheep (that is, do they belong to what people suppose is a denomination)? We would answer no to each of those questions. We would quote the Lord Himself when he said, “I am the Good Shepherd; I know My sheep, and am known by My own… My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me” (John 10:14, 27). When we read Jesus’ words we are met with overwhelming condemnation of sheep stealing. Jesus does not teach that of the many local congregations we are separate entities working to our own end, but rather teaches that “(He) is the Vine, (we) are the branches” (John 15:1). “We, being many are one  body in Christ, and individually members one of another” (Rom. 12:5). Jesus slammed shut the door of opportunity in the minds of any who aim to make profit off the church of Christ in money, power, or notoriety by acquiring members by way of sheepstealing when He declared, “there will be one flock and one shepherd” (John 10:16). Nothing is up for debate on how Jesus feels about His sheep.

After nearly 2,000 years, the world is still awaiting the oneness in the church whereby they will see the proof-positive that we are His people. As we go through this world, let us all endeavor to be one in Christ, serving together, arm-in-arm, so they the world though our efforts might be saved. God bless us in that effort all for His glory.

Whatever you call them (Small Groups, Bible Classes, Midweek Bible Studies, Sunday School, etc.), you probably need to rethink your attendance to them! 

Statistically speaking, only about 60% of those who are reading this that attend worship faithfully actually attend a Small Group of some sort during the week. But I am willing to venture that many of the churches of Christ in our country are seeing more along the lines of 40-50% at best! I can actually remember numerous times in the past where me (the adult class teacher), my wife and our children were the only ones there for a Midweek Bible Study. 

The fact is, our classes outside of worship services are lacking numerically and I believe there are some things we need to realize about these meetings that will encourage us to attend them more frequently and they are...

I hope I don't need to write a dissertation on this topic to get us to realize how important our Bible Study habits really are to our personal faith development. If you were raised in a religious environment, I can almost bet that you have memories of being a young whipper snapper sitting in a Bible class of some sort and that the information you learned there has stuck with you. I can vividly remember sitting as a child in a men's enrichment class at church where I first learned the story of Gideon. 


That being said, there is more to it than memorizing the Apostles' names or the books of the Bible. Your attendance to Bible classes allows you to dive much deeper into God's saving Word (James 1:21) and helps you to have the ability to pass that knowledge on to those who are lost. 

Have you ever wondered why some TV commercials are repeated over and over again ad-nauseum? It is because advertisers understand that you are going to need multiple chances to engrain that phone number or product name before you will actually think about it when you are in need. 

Lifeway Research reported that only 1 out of every 6 self-proclaiming Christians would strongly agree that they actively seek out relationships with new people that they meet at church. The fact is, Small Groups provide the perfect place to see that face again, to hear that name again and start a real relationship with that person. 

If the church is a family (Ephesians 2:19), shouldn't we seek every opportunity to know who our family members are? 

Many preachers try to link their Bible classes, sermons and other forms of teaching together in some way (and if you're a preacher and you're not doing that, you need to rethink that decision). That being the case, Wednesday nights provide a very helpful reminder of what was studied on Sunday and helps you to apply that in a better way for the rest of the week. 

Seven days without true study in God's Word (understanding that many of us aren't getting the personal Bible study that we desperately need to remain pure in this world) opens the door for trials and temptations that are easily averted if we have refreshed ourselves on our mission and had the encouragement that is one of the major prerogatives in the assembly of the church (cf. Hebrews 10:24). 


Whatever your reasons were for missing Midweek Bible Study or sliding in between Sunday School and Worship on Sundays, you need to rethink that decision. If not for the encouragement, family relationships or deeper knowledge of God's Word simply for the fact that willful or even rebellious absence from the assembly of the saints is a very serious point of discussion in God's word (Hebrews 10:25-26)!