In Romans 11:17-24, we find an interesting piece of scripture. In these verses, Paul is warning the Gentiles in Rome not to be arrogant or to think too much of themselves now that they have the gospel, and have gained salvation through Christ. Their warning was that they should not fall into the same trapped mindset that the Jews did concerning Christ. The Jews referenced in this passage had become arrogant in that they put their faith in their ability to keep the Law so well that they had forgotten about the importance of the Messiah (Romans 9:30-33). They had become arrogant in themselves, and their own abilities, and their own way of life by the Law that they had neglected to see Christ for who He was because they were blinded by their own selfish Perception of keeping the Law. What can we learn from these verses I wonder? I encourage you to turn to this short passage in your Bible, as we find out together. 

  In verses 17-21, Paul tells the Gentiles metaphorically that they shouldn't be arrogant towards the "branches" (The Jews) that have been cut off from the nourishing Root. They were broken off because of their unbelief in Christ (vs.20). Since they were broken off, it provided a means for everyone to be able to know Christ, and that the Gentiles would be able to be grafted in as part of the Root to be nourished by it. Even though these Jews were broken off, this was no reason for the Gentiles to behave arrogantly towards them because they have gained salvation, and these Jews have been cut off. That's the same sort of arrogance that had gotten these particular Jews cut off in the first place (Vs.21). Arrogance in the fact that they had the Law, and the Gentiles didn't; therefore, since they believed they were saved by their ability to keep the Law, and not by Christ, they thought they had salvation and the Gentiles did not. The warning here is to not fall into the same self-centered trap that had gotten these Jews cut off in the first place because their minds should be set on the nourishing Root instead of the dead branches. 

  These next verses encourage the Gentiles to take note of the kindness and severity of God. To first note His severity to those who have fallen, but His kindness to them should they choose to continue in that course. He then reminds them that the gospel is still for everyone, even for those Jews that had been cut off. If they were to choose to repent, and be obedient to The Lord, they would most certainly be accepted. If God was capable of grafting in the Gentiles who didn't naturally grow with the Root, He is more than capable of restoring the branches that naturally grow with the Root. It all came down to their decision to believe or disbelieve which would in turn result in a change of course or action on their behalf that would either align them with the will of God, or set them contrary to it. The focus should never be on the fact that they are lost, but rather that everyone is lost without their connection to the Root - Christ.

  Are we so different in our thinking sometimes? We have gained salvation, and we know the truth, but do we ever flaunt it arrogantly? Do we ever become caught up in taking too much pride in the fact that we have the gospel? How many times have we had a condescending thought about something not lining up exactly with God's word, or someone who doesn't yet know the truth in some matters? How many times have we considered the Biblical pattern of salvation, and then immediately stomp on and shoot down anything that resembles anything other than the truth?

  I'm not saying that we shouldn't be proud to know salvation in Christ, or that we shouldn't take a confident stand for the truth. I'm not saying that we shouldn't be bold with our efforts to take the gospel to a lost and dying world, but I am saying that we should check our motives and our attitudes lest we think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think. Our focus should never be on the fact that other people are lost, but rather that EVERYONE is lost without Christ. The fact that people are lost without Christ is no haughty matter, but rather a heartbreaking one. Our encouragement now is to not be arrogant that we have the gospel, but that we should have hearts that break when we look at the tragedy of unbelief. To be ever thankful to God for His mercy, and ever loving towards those who do not know Christ, because aren't they the ones who need Him the most? 

  William Randolph Hearst, a newspaper publisher, was one of the richest men in America in the early 1900s. Because of his riches, he was able to have some very expensive hobbies, including traveling the world. During his travels, a new hobby was introduced to him: collecting coveted works of art. When he saw pieces of art that caught his eye, he would send one of his “agents” after it. One morning, Hearst composed a comprehensive list of the paintings, sculptures, and other pieces he wanted most and sent out his chief agent to find them. Although it usually took several weeks of searching, his agent returned in just a few days. “Did you find what I was looking for?” Hearst asked in surprise. “Yes,” the agent replied. “I found everything you wanted. But what I found may surprise you.”

  Some would say that the greatest challenge facing the church today is the challenge of keeping the darkness of the world from infiltrating into our hearts, to keep the command given in Matthew 5:16:

  How can we avoid being swallowed by the darkness and, instead, cut through the darkness as the lights? How can we keep our lights shining brightly and make them even brighter? The answer to these questions lies a simple, yet profound verse; my personal favorite passage, 1 Thessalonians 1:3: 

  The books of first and second Thessalonians are written to the congregation in Thessalonica. Thessalonica was a seafaring town, and because of this, it attracted a plethora of trade, which attracted many immigrants. Each of these immigrants from various nations brought with them their own unique gods, which resulted in “much conflict” for the congregation (1 Thess. 2:2). Each one of these gods tried to infiltrate the congregation there because of how they “sounded out” (1 Thess. 1:8). If we make noise in our communities, if we attempt to fulfill the Great Commission, there will be “much conflict,” and the world will attack the church. How can we seal the church from the attacks of the world, how can we shine ever brighter? 

  In chapter five of this epistle to the Thessalonians, an inspired Paul commands them to “pray without ceasing.” He mentions how he remembered them before God, presumably in prayer. Although this is just my opinion, I feel that this is mentioned to let them know that there were people out there who cared about them and wanted them to defeat the world. When the world is pressing in on the you or your congregation, just ask for prayers. After all, “...The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16). 

  Drew Carey pretty adequately described the typical person’s perspective of their job: “Oh, you hate your job? ... There’s a support group for that, it’s called EVERYONE.” Work, or ἔργον, in verse three means to toil, to work as if it were a job. As Drew Carey so bluntly put it, “normal” people hate their job. So why does God ask us to do something that we are expected to hate? To show our faith. When we work, when we toil, we are showing our faith in God. We’re doing something that “normal” people wouldn’t do, and by that our light is cutting through the dense darkness of the devil and showing the world what it means to be a Christian. 

  I can’t put it any more truthfully than Michael Whitworth put it in his guide to the Thessalonians entitled Living and Longing for the Lord. He said, “Faith works, but love goes the extra mile.” Labor, or κόπος, literally means to work all day until you’re exhausted and in pain, but you keep going because of love. No matter how strong your faith is, because the work of faith is a job, it’s going to want to quit at some point. However, love is something that will propel you to keep working even when faith might want to quit. Back in the first century A.D., when a Roman soldier passed through a captive town, he could legally force a captive man to carry his bag for a mile outside the town. You can just see the man carrying the bag and, at the end of the mile (which he would be counting every step of), dumping the bag on the ground, giving the soldier a dark look, and then walking defiantly back to town. In Matthew 5:41, Jesus said, “And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” Instead of throwing the bag down at one mile, Jesus commanded them to walk twice as much. You can just see the Roman soldier expecting the bag to be ungraciously thrown to the ground at exactly one mile, but ... the man keeps going. At a mile and a half, I can see the Roman soldier saying to the man, “Man, it’s... been a mile. You can go back now,” and the man just shaking his head. Then as they hit the two mile mark, I can see the man handing the bag kindly over to a bewildered soldier who asks, “Why have you done this for me?” Then the man replies, “Because I love my Lord and Savior Jesus, Jesus loves you, therefore I love you.” What a powerful message that would send, a powerful message applicable to our own lives! Truly, “Faith works, but love goes the extra mile.” 

  As Stephenie Meyer famously wrote in Twilight, “I like the night. Without the dark, we’d never see the stars.” In the darkness that is this world, there’s one light that shines through it all. In a way, us “smaller lights” are like insects at night, constantly flying at this light, desiring to be closer to it. However, unlike the lightbulb which remains shut against the insects, this light welcomes us the closer we get to it. You see, this light is Jesus, and James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” That is our only hope. In a world over­flooded with darkness, Jesus says “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12). The apostle Peter once said, “And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12). This is one of the very same men who were “rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name [of Jesus]” immediately after being severely beaten. This just further shows how we must have the attitude of, “Without the dark, we’d never see the stars.”

  When William Randolph Hearst sent out his chief agent to find his five most coveted works of art from around the world, the one thing he expected least was what happened next. You see, within a few days the agent was back and, Hearst, in surprise, asked, “Did you find what I was looking for?” The agent replied, “Yes, I found everything you wanted.” He paused for a second and then said, “But what I found may surprise you.” Brushing this off, Hearst said, “Well, where did you find them?” “Well sir, I actually found them in your warehouse. You already owned them all.”

  When Hearst flew his chief agent around the world in search of the coveted works of art, the one thing he expected least is for them to be in his warehouse. Sometimes we’re like that. We search high and far for the hidden virtue, the one thing that will make our lights shine so much brighter when, in reality, we already have it. We try so hard to change our batteries when we already have the desire to pray, a faith of works, a love that labors, and a hope defeats the darkness of this world. All we have to do is search our spiritual inside for these things and “work them out,” continually make them stronger and brighter. If we do that, then what we find, what we do, how much brighter our light becomes - even without changing the batteries–may just surprise us. 

Emotions. Over the years I have had a serious power struggle with them. In my mind, I know how a Christian woman should act - kind, meek, quiet and self-controlled (Col 3:12, Eph 4:32, 1 Pet 3:4, 2 Pet 1:5-6). I know the power of the tongue and the importance of taming it (James 3:2-13). I know that I should love not only my brethren but also my enemies (Luke 6:35, Rom 12:20). I know how my words should be filtered—carefully chosen (Prov 13:3)—and can have the power to either hurt when I am brutally honest or help when I am tactful, kind and considerate of how the other person might feel when I say them (Prov 16:24, Eph 4:15, Prov 12:18, Prov 15:1). And I know how my attitude and actions in a frustrating situation can either turn someone to Christ or away from Christ. 

  However, in the moment when I feel totally frustrated because someone has wronged me in some way, my emotions flood to the surface and beg to take hold of me;—beg to let me forget my Christianity for just a moment and speak or act with unfiltered words that harm or an attitude that is unlike Christ instead of remaining calm, controlled and filled with grace and honor for this person—a person just like me whom Christ also died for and whom I should love, even in the midst of their wrongdoing and even when this person doesn’t seem worthy of love or grace. 

  This is a great struggle I have battled throughout my experience as a Christian: not allowing my emotions to control my words and actions. Not allowing my emotions to cause me to forget who I am: I am His. Always. In every situation. Not just when it’s convenient or when I feel like being His. 

  When I give myself over to my emotions and let them rule my words or actions, I’m left either feeling shameful because I hurt someone or placing blame on the other person for the things I said or did. “Susie should not have done that, and I wouldn’t have had to say or do that to her.” But the reality is, it’s not Susie’s fault. I have a choice of words, attitude and actions. As hard as it is in the moment to realize this, it’s true: I have a choice. As hard and inconvenient as it might feel to carefully choose words and actions that are genuinely kind and loving toward someone who has wronged me, it’s not their fault if I don’t. I shouldn’t let their actions dictate how I react. Nor should I allow my emotions to. When I allow Susie or my emotions to control what I say and how I act, I am no longer practicing Godly restraint and self-control. 

  So how can I control myself when my emotions are begging to take hold of me—when I’ve been wronged or when I have a serious bout of PMS (NO, PMS is NOT an excuse in the Bible to act ugly)... 

  I’ve found that the best solution for me has been to purposefully decide my course of action before I’m PMSing and before someone does something that causes me to want to let go. I want to decide what I will do in a moment like this when I am calm and collected with my emotions at bay. This is the plan of action I will use in the future when something gets under my skin begging me to use hurtful, unfiltered words or act explosively. We have to have control. We can’t just let whatever we want come out of our mouths, even if it’s true and even if the person needs to hear it if it is going to break them down. And we can’t just fly off the handle when we get upset even if the person deserves it. 

  If you have ever had trouble with PMS or emotional tirades, as I have, here’s a plan that has really helped me. It’s adapted from the book Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst. (Tip: When I realize I need to work on something, I like to look for self-help books: Everyone can use a little therapy. And everyone has areas of their Christianity they can work on. We should always personally be working on the parts of our Christianity that are weaker to make them stronger. If you think you aren’t weak in an area, just ask one of your friends or family members at church who will be honest with you. You’d be surprised at what others can see in you that you can’t see in yourself. And don’t be hurt: be thankful for their honesty and for helping you become better for Christ.) 

  Tips for controlling our words, actions and attitude in the midst of raw emotions: 

  Jesus died for everyone and calls us to love all people, not just when they are nice and not just when we feel like it—all the time. We know that love is patient and kind. God has extended us this kind of love coupled with grace. When a person acts ugly or wrongs us, we must have an attitude of love, grace and honor toward them, even if they are not extending this toward us and even if they don’t deserve it. This doesn’t mean you are necessarily honoring and loving the situation or what’s been said or done, but you are still called to honor the person (Rom 12:10). In that moment when you don’t want to care about that person and don’t care if you are unkind, you can make it easier to instead extend kindness and honor by forcing yourself to focus on as many good things about that person as you can. And force yourself to remember that you have done so many wrongs to God who readily loves you anyway. 

  And get this: Extending love, compassion, and grace in a situation that deserves unfiltered, unkind words, retaliation and punishment shows more about your character than the character of the other person. And choosing a gentle, loving reply when you feel like being defensive or upset is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of a rare and Godly strength: It’s a sign of self-control. 

  Finally, when you are striving to honor this person when they have wronged you, remember that this person is not your enemy—the devil is. When you lose control, you let the devil win, even if your Earthly foe “loses” because of an ugly response on your part. 

  When I hear these words, I am reminded of The Lion King. This was such a powerful and emotional statement from Mufasa to Simba. Simba had made some bad decisions. He was running away, forgetting his responsibilities and being really selfish. When his dad finally got to confront him, he simply said, “Remember who you are.” This meant, “You’re a son of the king, Simba. Start acting like it.” 

  And that’s what I repeat to myself when I am tempted to sin—when I am tempted to let my emotions control my words and behaviors. “Amber, remember who you are. You’re a daughter of the king. Start acting like it.” 

  I’m more than some firecracker, explosive personality. More than someone who uses hurtful words without caring about the feelings of others. More than someone who shames herself and blames others for her hurtful words or selfish reactions after-the- fact. I’m better than that. I must remember who I am. 

  Using kind words and actions in a tough situation is a sign of a rare and Godly strength called self-control. 

  Keep in mind that when there is a relationship issue, very rarely is there nothing you have done to contribute to the problem, as much as we feel this way at times. Instead of solely focusing on what the other person has done, humble yourself by searching for your fault in the situation. 

  If you respond gently, with filtered words and a loving spirit, apologizing for your faults and do everything how God would want you to and this person still does not extend the same level of grace and honor that you have extended, do not be discouraged. You did what you were called to do—feel extremely empowered that you did not let the devil win by causing you to lose your self-control. You can’t control how Godly or ungodly someone else’s actions are. But it is your responsibility to control your own words and actions in the midst of your emotions. And you can’t let their reaction take away your self-control. 

  I hope these six things can help you as much as they have helped me on your road to becoming the kind, meek, quiet, self-controlled Christian woman that God calls us to be even in the midst of our emotions. It’s not easy to filter our words or control our anger all the time. In fact, sometimes it goes against every grain of what we feel like doing. It takes work and will feel unnatural to us at first. But the first time that you respond kindly to someone who deserves brutal honesty or heated words, you will feel so much power—the power of Christ in you. You didn’t let the devil win. You practiced self- control when your emotions were begging to dictate your words, attitude or actions. And you will feel so good when you walk away instead of feeling shame or placing blame on those around you for your ungodly words or conduct. 

  Let me speak to my preaching brethren for a moment…

  Lately, I’ve been focusing my personal study time on learning to be a better communicator. In studying communication and public speaking in general, I’ve found one thing that EVERY coach that I’ve read or heard has in common…they want their students to be genuine. From the great communication coaches Carmine Gallo and John Bates to Linkdin superstar Lori Ruff, they all say the same thing, “When you’re getting ready to speak in public make sure you keep it real.” In fact, Lori has made that the title of her book and her TEDx talk! Through all the topics that are mentioned from mastery of your topic to how to effectively tell a story, the overwhelming point that is ALWAYS mentioned is simply to be yourself when you step on that stage. 

  I wonder if these communication coaches realize that they are saying the same thing that Paul said long ago by inspiration of the Spirit. 

  Did you catch that? Paul states that he was “with” them, a term denoting that he was involved in a sort of spiritual intercourse with those who were at Corinth. Now, this isn’t speaking of some mystical feeling, Paul simply means that he opened himself up to them and was one with them. What better way to speak of keeping it real in preaching than to conjure up the thoughts of a husband and wife in the marriage bed where your insecurities, imperfections and true self is revealed?

  But, keeping it real in your preaching isn’t just so that people will fall in love with the point you’re making it also…

  I wonder how many Christians sit in services on Sundays thinking that they are the only one in the building that has a problem with whatever sin the preacher is so eloquently rebuking? I have a feeling the number isn’t nearly as high as the number of Christians that stay at home because they don’t want to have the feeling of being the only person in the building that has a problem with whatever sin the preacher is so eloquently rebuking! 

  Preachers, WE HAVE TO GET RID of this idea that the preacher can’t repent of a sin from the pulpit! When you’re preaching on a topic that you wrestle with, TELL THEM! They need to hear it just as much as you need to say it. Remember, admitting you have a problem is the first step to defeating it.. 

  We live in a time where public speaking, although one of the biggest fears among the population, is prevalent. Any person could go on YouTube or TED or some other website and hear public speakers motivating them to do something. But, when you keep it real and let people know who you are, they realize that you’re standing before them not to sell a product but to make a difference in their lives! It might be time to sit down with yourself and find the WHY of your preaching. Are you preaching because you’ve been trained to and it’s the only way that you can provide for your family or are you preaching to make a difference?

  Have you ever offered the invitation and as people are pouring out the back door shaking hands and laughing realized that you probably didn’t do anything to the hearts and minds of those listening that morning? I would be willing to venture that the reason you have that feeling is because you have stood before the congregation and presented a, while well studied and presented, lesson without showing the people who you are and why you decided to speak on that subject that morning. If there’s a problem in the congregation and that’s the reason for your picking that text or topic, let them know during the sermon - be open. If there’s something that is going to happen in the congregation, like an upcoming campaign or work, talk to them about the need to help with that - be open. Don’t speak on “Why We Ought To Have VBS” and spend 30 minutes talking about the need to teach young people without telling the congregation where they can help and, for that matter, where you plan on helping. 

  When it boils down to it, keeping it real isn’t just for the business world and it isn’t so people feel connected with you so they will, in a sense, buy the product you’re selling (the Gospel). The reason we ought to keep it real in the pulpit, and why Paul did so in his preaching, is because the brethren aren’t going to ACT on the point of faithfulness you are speaking on if all they see is a mindless robot standing before them reciting a manuscript. They hired YOU to teach them the Gospel, so use YOU to teach them the Gospel!

  I know I've felt it a few times in my life. You probably have as well. In fact, 150,000 families will begin to feel it just in the next 24 hours. It's the feeling that your entire life have been lost. That there is "nothing else to live for" because you have now experienced something that, in man's original state, was never to be felt or experienced by God's pinnacle of creation. 

  I'm talking about the feeling that one feels when they have lost a loved one. Now, I've lost a few people in my life that have shaped who I am today. The first major loss I ever experienced was the man who now sits encapsulated in a small golden frame with cracked glass on my desk in my office - my grandpa. He's one of the reasons that I preach, not for the fact that he encouraged me to do so but because he, like the majority alive today, was not blessed with salvation based upon a faithful life in Christ (cf. Galatians 3:27, Revelation 2:10). 

  We've all felt it. Maybe more than others, but we've all felt it. 

  Naomi, Ruth's mother-in-law, is one of those who have survived loved ones but her story is somewhat different than my own. You see, in a matter of 10 years she lost her husband, her son Chilion and her other son Mahlon, leaving her with absolutely no one and a feeling of emptiness. In fact, the Bible goes as far as to hint that she began to feel as though she had lost her entire being because the men in her life were now all gone (Ruth 1:5, Bethlehem Road by Michael Whitworth - p. 33) and that she was nothing more than the shell of the woman she once was, ready to be thrown out with the next trash heap without any thought. 

  Maybe Naomi has something to teach us, however. When faced with the death of all those closest to her, she remained focused on the goal before her. That goal had changed somewhat, from leaving Israel to move to Moab because of a famine to keep her and Elimelech's, her husband, family safe in a time of need to going home to be with the only people on earth who just might be able to be called family, but nonetheless she was looking for that bond of family and needed that in her life. That was her goal, to be part of a family. 

  The congregations of the body of Christ are called a family (cf. Galatians 6:10, 1 Corinthians 3:9). I'm not saying that the only way a person can weather the hardships of losing loved ones is to be a Christian, I believe that people can handle death to some extent outside of Christ. What I am saying is that there's no better way when faced with the inevitable curse of life outside the Garden than to seek out and maintain relationships with those of the Body. 

  Can I make a suggestion to those of us who are reading this that may be experiencing these feelings of emptiness or loss right now, don't try to go at it alone. Naomi didn't, and you shouldn't either. God has placed a group of people on this earth who love one another (Hebrews 13:1), care for one another's souls (Galatians 6:2), wants to encourage you to faithfulness (Hebrews 10:24) and genuinely wants to help, so go to them. There's a reason why we called living past the death of a loved one "surviving" them, because it's possible to live on without them but not without help. 

  If you're not a member of the body of Christ, then while you are seeking out the encouragement of the Christians in your area, I want you to think seriously about becoming part of the Family. It will probably be difficult, Naomi definitely did not have an easy time going home to be with what family she had left (cf. Ruth 2:2) but it was worth it when she found the family she had been needing, and you will have to deny yourself (Matthew 16:24) but you'll then be able to rest assured knowing that God is with you!

 Now, of course, there are things in Talk Like TED that do not apply to the preacher because of various reasons. That is to be understood since Gallo is writing the book for business professionals and those who speak on secular topics. However, that doesn't mean that there aren't treasure-troves of information that we can apply to our speaking!

  I encourage you to pick up a copy of Talk Like TED, read it, and apply Gallo's principles to see if 1) you are more effective in the pulpit and 2) that your lessons flow much better. It has certainly changed my preaching for the better!